It's that time of year that is often filled with celebration, family, and friends. It is also a time when some folks realize, the holidays are no longer a joyous occasion. Family and friends live far away, deceased, estranged, or they've got other plans.
This last Thanksgiving I spent it alone. It wasn't part of the plan, it's just the way it worked out. Family and friends were everywhere else. I have to admit that I asked myself, "is it because people don't like me?"
This question did not feel good to ask and the more I thought about it, it hurt. I started to go over the many recent interactions and wonder, "was it something I said or was it something I did?" I was about to start spiraling down a path that wasn't going to feel good. And if I continued to entertain these thoughts, I knew I could throw myself into a deep depression.
Luckily, I'm a licensed metnal health counselor and I knew better. So, I changed (reframed) my point of view. I woke up Thanksgiving morning and said to myself, "this is my situation, how can I make the best of it." I focused on what I had control over. I decided I wanted a Thanksgiving meal but it was just me so I made what I liked. I made a roterssiere chicken instead of turkey and I had all my favorite fixings, potatoes, gravy, stuffing, etc...
Then I decided I want to do the things I enjoy on Thanksgiving. I watched football while my favorite team lost horrendously. I didn't let it get to me.
I was on a mission to enjoy my day
I decided I wanted to relax after all the cooking I did. I read a book, went for a walk, and did a little gardening which, I enjoy. I did the things that felt good in the moment. I was surprised and actually really enjoyed the quiet and the calm. Most importantly, I enjoyed my Thanksgiving and...
I did that
Make the best of your situation and do the things you enjoy these holidays.