Wait...are we a big part of the issue in our relationship problems?
Has the love soured? Has the trust gone? Couples usually argue about money. We're in the middle of a pandemic and there are new emerging variations of COVID coming out on a regular basis. This situation has pushed couples into some major changes that are hindering the education of their children, their work, their partner's work, finances, and their ability to take care of themselves mentally and physically. Divorce is on the rise.
Families can't get away on vacation without some major hassles and concerns. So many things were and may still be closed that were considered 'non-essential.'
'So much for date night.'
With time, relationships get ugly when issues are ignored and partner's are ignored. The ugliness is the reference to treating our partner from a place of individuality rather than the unity the relationship is supposed to represent.
When we come from a place of individuality, we are automatically acting from a place that benefits our self. It is often unconscious. When we act from a place of unity, we are automatically acting from a place that benefits both, unity.
This is not to suggest that all couples should stay together. Some partners don't want to act from a place of unity and want things to stay as they are. Staying with a partner under these circumstances is completely up to each person. Or perhaps the relationship has run its course and it's time to move on.
As a relationship continues, problematic issues developed that are ignored and resisted by one or both partners. With time, these resistances create a persistent storm like sensation in the body. The relationship cycles through the problem again and again.
Sometimes, it is discussed ad nauseam and nothing really comes from it.
We encounter and have relationships with partners in our life often because they represent many of the things that are stuck in our personal life. We also gravitate towards partners that appear to have the answers we have been unable to resolve in our own life. There is nothing wrong with this approach other than, we're likely going to impose our personal desire to heal and grow onto our partner. We are assuming our partner will take care of it. And this is grossly out of their personal responsibility. It is our self and only our self that can resolve our personal issues. However, it is here that many relationships begin to sour and the trust diminishes.
The imposition of our personal issues on to our partner is causing some major issues. First of all, the act of imposing can only come from the perspective of individuality rather than unity. We need to take responsibility for our issues and our partner's their's.
When we take responsibility for our personal issues, we heal and we learn.